Since the beginning of F2, I’ve felt tired. Not the kind of tiredness that goes away with sleep, the kind of tiredness that requires two weeks in the sunshine. That’s the issue with being in a training programme, you just keep ploughing on and on and savour the few days that you get off.
I appreciate being on GP right now and I’m liking the slower pace. But it’s still really hard to get up in the morning. I feel like I have to emotionally psyche myself up and then drag myself to work.
But weirdly, as I start settling into afternoon clinic and I’m between patients, I start thinking that it’s actually not that bad. And it’s happened more than once that I’ve caught myself thinking that.
No one is more shocked than I am. As a student, I found GP placements boring. Sitting in the corner and staring, as people come in and out. Not fun. Now, I see my own patients. I have to think on my feet, but at the same time I feel supported and I feel like I’m learning. And I feel like I’m helping. I have time to talk things through with people.
Before we get carried away, I’m still only a few weeks in. Even though it wasn’t my plan, I’m happy I had this placement first. I’m looking at my A&E rota for my next placement and it looks dire to say the least. 10 hour days, 8 in a row. Eugh.